


Cookie Monster

by kettlepillow



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Cookie Euphemism, Eggsy is a Little Shit, Innuendo, M/M, Merlin Loves Eating 'Cookie', Sexual Tension, Sexy Food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 13:23:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5871256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kettlepillow/pseuds/kettlepillow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin enjoys cookies filled with sweet, white cream.</p>
<p>Eggsy is a tease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cookie Monster

**Author's Note:**

> No beta.  
> Just a plot bunny.

Kingsman owned a little restaurant. Not some kind of mediocre canteen.

Eggsy and most of the other agents came here to relax during lunch or dinner time.

 

As the blonde man entered King's Kitchen he spotted him immediately.

The room was relatively empty and his favourite wizard sat alone at one of the corner tables.

In front of Merlin stood tea and a huge pack of Oreo cookies.

 

 

'So you're into cookies.' Greeted Eggsy and slumbed down opposite from him. He tried to snatch one of the biscuits but Merlin blocked his hand with schooled reflexes. 

'Yes. I'm also very glad that they're _mine.'_ _  
_

 

Eggsy stared at him with hurt puppy eyes. When Merlin looked up he sighed and handed him the package wordlessly.

 

It always worked that way.

 

'I tried to stay on my diet this year, but there's constantly someone here offering you cookies. It's like a bloody drug den for sweets!' Said the handler with mild annoyance.

He seemed to contemplate his life choices before taking a bite. Turning back to his paper he missed the other agent's expression.

 

'Is it the white cream filling? The feeling of mischief when you lick it and it melts on your tongue?'

 

Silence.

 

Merlin stopped chewing and looked at Eggsy who checked his phone nonchalantly. Smugness curled his lips.

 

'I never felt guilty. The taste was unusual at first. Almost too sweet. But I grew to love it pretty fast. It's quite addictive. Do you enjoy it yourself?'

 

Eggsy's brows shot up. _Damn._

He grabbed another Oreo to avoid an answer.

'You sound like the Cookie Monster, _master of biscuits_.' 

 

Merlin read the next headline and smirked.

'As I said. As soon as you enter Kingsman there are plenty opportunities to have cookies. It's the little things, Eggsy.'

 

Eggsy's palms started sweating ever so slightly.

_Merlin_ from all people, was playing the game _he_ had started. Eggsy wondered for how long he'd play along. The usually reserved handler seemed to enjoy himself.

It was a challenge.

 

'But you're always so proper and never on a... _sugar high,_ Merl. Do you crave them at times?'

 

The older agent narrowed his eyes and took a sip from his tea. 

 

'Even spy agents indulge in guilty pleasures. I happen to have a sweet tooth. So yes, sometimes I 'crave' the sweet sin.' His lips twitched.

 

Eggsy imagined Merlin desperate... What it was like when he **wanted**.

His mouth watered and so the blonde swallowed before he spoke.

 

'You don't dip them in milk, though. You like cookies raw as they are.'

 

'I don't have much patience when it comes to cookies to be honest.' Merlin turned a page and took another sip. 'A bit of a caveman habit. Always. Never liked to share them either.'

 

He looked at Eggsy.

 

'Do you think less of me for it?'

 

Eggsy shook his head.

 

'Not at all.'He grinned.

_God,_ he felt so awkward but couldn't help himself. Merlin was clearly less 'prude gentleman' than expected. And he wanted to explore the depths of his dark, dirty mind. The fantasy of seeing him claiming and wanton...

 

'You always eat them quickly then? Never slowly to really savour the taste?'

 

 Merlin folded the paper and his expression made Eggsy's cock ache.

 

'Depends on how fast I want to feel them crumble.'

 

 

The blonde spread his legs involuntarily.

 

 

Merlin's brogue vibrated in Eggsy's very core.

 

Licking his lips he nodded and stared at nothing. His vision went blurry, as if it was too much to take in at once. He felt Merlin's gaze hot on his features.

_Imagine crumbling under-_

 

'Is this a job interview for Sesame Street, lad?'

 

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

 

He refocused and jogged his leg furiously, trying to deny the hard-on rubbing against tight pants.

 

'I was just... curious about your eating habits.' He flushed and fumbled with his watch.

 

'Oh that's normal.' Came Merlin's sarcastic comment.

 

The handler straightened his jumper and was about to stand up.

He leant forward and the heavy scent of sugar and tea filled Eggsy's lungs.

 

'I know this didn't satisfy your...curiosity. Rest assured that.' He brushed a crumb from Eggsy's lip. 'You whetted my appetite.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking about a sequel in which Merlin shows Eggsy what he actually means by *appetite*... 
> 
> English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes.  
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
